Full Metal Jacket Full Metal Jacket Funny
The 1987 Stanley Kubrick masterpiece Full Metal Jacket is one of the movies that inspired me to join the Marine Corps when I first saw it in the fall of 1999. I was in college and was most decidedly not enjoying myself. I needed a break and a change of scenery. Full Metal Jacket in no uncertain terms inspired me to break out of my comfort zone and make the change I desperately longed for.
I first watched Full Metal Jacket with my then-girlfriend and was immediately awestruck. This Marine Corps Boot Camp thing was incredible. It was raw, unedited, and difficult; I loved every bit of it. I thought to myself that night that I don't know what job I want once I'd be in the Corps, but I definitely have to see if I'm tough enough to make it through this. Fast forward a couple of months to February 2000, and there I was personally experiencing my very own Full Metal Jacket in full 4D/HD clarity.
'Full Metal Jacket' Quotes of the Century!
Despite its increasingly dark nature, as it unfolds Full Metal Jacket is one of the funniest and most quotable movies I've ever watched. For me, these are its Top 20 most iconic quotes of the movie (in no particular order).
1) Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: "That's enough! Get on your feet. Pvt. Pyle you had best square your ass away and start sh-tting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely f-ck you up!"
2) Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: "I bet you're the kind of guy that would f-ck a person in the ass and not even have the g-ddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you."
3) Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: "Bullsh-t. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress. I think you've been cheated!"
4) Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: "Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy f-cking walrus-looking piece of sh-t! Get the f-ck off of my obstacle! Get the f-ck down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world."
5) Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: "What is your major malfunction numbnuts? Didn't mommy and daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?"
6) Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: "TEXAS? Holy dogsh-t! Only steers and queers come from Texas!! And you don't much look like a steer to me so that kind of narrows it down."
7) Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: "I want that head so sanitary and squared away that the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in there and take a dump."
8) Recruits: "This is my rifle. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God, I swear this creed: my rifle and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of our enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen."
9) Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: "I will give you three seconds, exactly three fucking seconds, to wipe that stupid grin off your face, or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-f-ck you!"
10) Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: "The deadliest weapon in the world is a Marine and his rifle… Your rifle is only a tool. It is a hard heart that kills. If your killer instincts are not clean and strong you will hesitate at the moment of truth. You will not kill. You will become dead Marines and then you will be in a world of sh-t because Marines are not allowed to die without permission."
11) Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: "I don't like the name Lawrence, only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence. From now on you're Gomer Pyle."
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12) Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: "If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human f-cking beings."
13) Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: "Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard, but I am fair."
14) Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: "Most of you will go to Vietnam. Some of you will not come back. But always remember this: Marines die. That's what we're here for. But the Marine Corps lives forever. And that means you live forever."
15) Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: "Tonight, you pukes will sleep with your rifles. You will give your rifle a girl's name because this is the only pussy you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging ol' Mary-Jane Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over! You're married to this piece. This weapon of iron and wood. And you will be faithful."
If you have another Full Metal Jacket quote you'd like to add, please do so in the comments below!
Source: https://sofrep.com/news/top-20-full-metal-jacket-quotes/
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